What you’re struggling with is exactly how you can begin helping others.
“You will seek only what you have partially already discovered and therefore seen as desirable”. — Richard Rohr
Or, in other words, what you’re sensitive to right now will guide you in your growth.
In just 4 minutes, and a simple shift in mindset, you’ll learn to take that thing you’re struggling with and turn it into powerful influence that will create recovery for yourself and for countless others.
Start by addressing the fake reality you’re creating in your mind
So often we view our pains and struggles as things that are inflicted upon us that can’t be fixed. But, we can shift our thoughts and turn pain into strength…
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality” — Seneca
We focus so much of our time developing a story we can tell ourselves. It's what our ego is. And we believe it to be entirely true without questions.
Eventually, the story that we repeat to ourselves becomes our behaviors.
For example, when you spend your time focusing on how much you lack compassion, your life is going to be cold. You’ll naturally gravitate towards actions that withhold compassion. After all, that what you tell yourself you are.
Or, when you spend your time focusing on how much you lack love, you’ll never be able to receive love when it’s right in front of you. It’s the story you keep telling yourself.
We have the tendency to aggrandize our own opinions of ourselves and define every behavior with a forced narrative.
You have the power to retell a story to yourself… to stop defining yourself as an addict or as lonely or as anxious or as lost.
Because, in reality, that’s not who you are.
It’s simply what you keep telling yourself, and those thoughts are turning into actions so you can keep the false, internal narrative alive.
Stop letting people tell you who you are
Most people are afraid of changing themselves because they think people will notice.
And they’re right. People will notice. But why care? They're not invested in your long-term growth...
I’ve always struggled to express my emotions. So, for the longest time people would make fun of me saying I didn’t have any emotions. And I began to believe them…
I believed it so much that I wouldn’t show my emotions even when I wanted to because I was simply following the narrative they were telling about me.
And eventually, I got tired of it. I started understanding more about myself and who I can become rather than what people say about me.
You cannot live your life following the orders other people tell you about your life direction and growth.
Never listen to the people who try to box you in and say that you’re always depressed or lonely or stubborn. Never let them have the power to control who you’re constantly evolving to be.
Instead, listen to who you’re telling yourself that you are. And base that in reality and in the desire for a life well lived.
Want to have lasting influence but don’t know where to start? Try what you’re sensitive to
We all have a sensitivity to something… some of us are sensitive to feeling lonely. Some are sensitive to feeling overlooked.
In the Christian faith tradition, we call these spiritual gifts: natural sensitivities and intuitions we’ve been given so we can be keenly aware of how we can help others.
For example, so many people I talk to struggle with loneliness. Who am I kidding… I struggle with it too.
I’ve been given a sensitivity to loneliness and feeling like an outsider… which gives me the exact knowledge for how to remedy it in others.
I could spend all day wallowing in loneliness and expect someone to reach out and make me feel loved.
Or, I could realize that the exact thing I want from someone else is the exact thing the world needs from me.
If you want to be influential, you don’t need a stage and an audience. And you don’t have to speak about business leadership.
If you want to be influential, you must first recognize what you struggle with and use that to connect with people who struggle with the same thing.
Influence isn’t about telling people how to live. It’s about living with them in an invested and intentional way.
Empathy equips you to have deep and far-reaching influence
“Empathy is one of the greatest creators of energy” — Angela Ahrendts
Recognizing what you struggle with allows you to develop sincere empathy that will help others gain strength and encouragement.
If you struggle with anxiety, wouldn’t you want someone who understands how that affects your life to walk alongside you?
You have two choices: self-pity or empathy.
Self-pity convinces you to never change. It seeks your undivided attention as it slowly steals your joy.
Empathy is the transformation from struggle to influence. It energizes you, it strengthens others, and it delivers fulfillment as you use it to become an advocate for someone else.
You need to become the help you’re waiting for
Instead of waiting around and sitting in misery, you’ll find healing in championing the health of others. In the process, you’ll find health for yourself.
It is not until you can step outside of your situation that you’ll find true growth.
Helping others overcome what you’re struggling with will create community. And together you’ll overcome the weight of your struggles that you both could not bear on your own.
This is where you power is: turning struggle into influence.
Turning self-misery into inclusive joy.
When you take your loneliness and turn it into community.
When you take your shame and you use it to ascribe value to someone.
When you take your doubt and choose to embolden someone with courage.
Address the fake stories you tell yourself: focusing on who you’re becoming and give yourself relentless grace. When you focus on negativity you leave no room for growth.
Stop giving people the power to write your story: they don’t know the depth of you. They have no investment in your growth. So don’t let them control you now.
Recognize what you’re sensitive to: be honest about what you’re struggling with. Now, use that to seek out people who are right there with you. And growth together through vulnerability and empathy.
Stop the cycle of self-pity and become empathetic: self-pity is a relentless trap while empathy grants you freedom to be vulnerable to and to help others flourish.
What you struggle with will only be fixed by your response. And you’ve been given the sensitivity and wisdom to help others while helping yourself.
Whatever you’re struggling with, someone else is struggling with that too. They’re waiting for someone to help them just like you are.
Make the move and give someone what you’ve always wanted and then you’ll be opened to exactly what you need.