Why someone else’s success isn’t a threat to your wellbeing
For the longest time, social media was becoming a massive source of jealousy and comparison in my life.
It seemed like whenever someone else succeeded or had something I wanted, it distorted my view of joy and contentment.
And I think a lot of us are there, too.
The wrecking power of the scarcity mentality
There’s this prevalent idea that someone else’s success means we’ll receive less.
… like there is a limited amount of giftedness and joy and resource in the world and someone else receiving it means I won’t get as much.
This plagues so many of us.
And it drastically distorts our view of people and satisfaction.
When was the last time you were on Instagram on Facebook and saw someone living part of a life that you’ve always wanted?
And you had this gut reaction that was filled with contempt and envy.
A scarcity mentality will only create anxiety and contempt in your life. It will never produce life-giving value to anyone.
And it usually is so subtle that it will break you down while you’re unaware.
Because scarcity mentality usually sounds like “he gets all the breaks” “I wish I was born into a wealthy family” “it must be nice to have such an easy life”.
The scarcity mentality will seep into every area of your life and slowly choke out your view of goodness and satisfaction.
Scarcity mentality forces us to become a hoarder of goodness. Over time, we start to believe that goodness is limited. So, when goodness comes our way, we warehouse it.
We become hoarders of things and ideas and love. We end up with over-indulgence while other people barely have enough to get by. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Honestly, I’ve seen it become so rampant in people’s lives that they become greedy and stingy.
And they transform into an oppressor that people have to cry out against.
Like a father who was treated poorly as a child so he treats his kids similarly… to him, goodness is limited, he must not give it freely.
Or a demanding boss whose marital strife led her to view joy as something only few can obtain… she must not give it out.
“The presence of generosity means the absence of greed, stinginess, and jealousy” - Rob Bell
I used to hate when other people succeeded. It made me feel dejected.
Quickly, I learned to realize that I couldn’t celebrate someone else’s light because I didn’t even value my own....
So, how do you avoid this dark spiral of the scarcity mentality?
You must relentlessly give of yourself. Serve. And become a champion of other people’s success.
Because joy and love and grace and hope are infinite. They will never run dry. You have the freedom to live your life freely granting prosperity wherever you go.
The favor of someone else will never be a threat to your wellbeing.
And the goodness that happens to your friends doesn’t mean you’re missing out on something more.
Do you really think goodness and blessing and joy are limited?
Let’s break the cycle
Recognize that goodness is infinite. And that you get to take part in that!
Stop hoarding joy. And stop envying those who have success.
You’ll find abundance in the release of anxiety filled envy.
Instead of envy, allow goodness to become a gift. Give it as freely as you receive it...
Jesus tells this great parable about a group of workers in a vineyard who worked unequal amounts but received equal pay.
The longer-worked laborers, clearly outraged, petition the foreman for an explanation.
To which he replies, “are you envious because I am generous”.