The Open Loops Trick To Tackle Your Goals With Ease

How often do you come home after a busy day at work and still can’t seem to shut off everything that still needs to get done?

And not just things from work, but everything else that you’re involved in like making meals and exercising and paying bills and washing clothes and maintaining some level of a social life (and sanity if you have room for that).

We’re constantly anxious and overwhelmed because of open loops in our life that keep playing over and over in our mind without ever being resolved.

So, what exactly is an open loop?

An open loop is a psychological phenomenon discovered by Bluma Zeigarnik. Open loops (called the Zeigarnik Effect) state that people remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better than completed tasks.

And remembering uncompleted tasks is almost never a good thing because all of those errands and goals and desires keep exhausting any mental and emotional capacity you have. And, if left uncompleted, will constantly keep us feeling stressed and overworked.

(Much like a flood our energy can go in all directions and be destructive)

If Only Open Loops Kept Blockbuster Alive

Open loops are used heavily in storytelling (especially movie making). When someone only gives us a glimpse of a story, we’re dying inside to know how it ends. We desperately want to see how the hero overcomes his trials and how the villain will be defeated.

Excellent storytellers know how to use open loops and cliffhangers to get you to become captivated by the story in front of you. Think of the last time you were in a movie and nothing else in the world mattered or even seemed to exist.

The only thing that mattered was the open loops in the story that our mind wanted to see completed so badly.

And the brilliant people at Netflix have mastered it so well that I’ll watch an entire season in a day (Who’s with me? Ok slight exaggeration here).

The Problem

Stories are wonderful to be captivated by, but when open loops exist in our own, real life, they begin to wreak havoc on our energy.

Every task we have to do slowly builds up and continues to rehearse itself over and over in our mind.

And the tasks don’t have to be big to seem overwhelming.

Occasionally I’ll struggle with anxiety so I begin to examine all the open loops that keep playing their story in my mind. And it’s a little frustrating to realize that the root of my anxiety was only a couple small tasks that I could knock out in a simple hour.

But the chaotic power of tasks is found in their ability to constantly repeat themselves as they float around our thoughts and are continually unresolved.

How to get rid of open loops and gain relaxation and productivity

Most people think productivity and relaxation are two different things. After all, how in the world can you get things done and be relaxed at the same time?

Focus.

Focus is the key to eliminating open loops that constantly circle so that you can relax and be productive at the same time.

When you can master your focus, you’ll instantly see powerful results in your tasks without stressing over everything that has to be done because you close loops as they present themselves.

Ready to be a relaxed and productive powerhouse?

First, you need to shut down open loops immediately after they present themselves. And I mean immediately. I use three groundbreaking tools to help me do this…

You can use any tool as long as you can stay consistent to close open loops

Apple’s Notes, Reminders, and Calendar (Groundbreaking, I know).

Once an open loop is created (an event I need to plan, the car registration I need to renew, feeding the cat several times because she eats way too much), I enter that open loop in one or a couple of those apps.

Big events go in the Calendar (like an event). Smaller tasks that need to get done go in Reminders (like getting my registration renewed) and Notes help me dump all my thoughts and ideas down instead of them taking away mental energy from what I’m doing in the moment.

Simply jotting down the open loops that present themselves will allow you to remove a large amount of anxiety about tackling project. Even massive projects can be broken down into small, manageable chunks.

If you continue to let tasks, both big and small, play over and over in your mind like a movie without an ending, then you’ll constantly be plagued by anxiety and worry.

And, when you try to get work done, you won’t have enough clarity to creatively work on the present task.

Next, you need to kill the idea of multitasking. By now, we can all agree that effective multitasking is a great thought, but impossible to truly get results from.

To be engaged, present, and potent, you need to have a clear idea of the task you want to do in the moment and how that task plays a part in the larger picture of your goals and desires.

So, let’s say you got picked for the lucky and highly-rewarding job of planning your company’s Christmas party (I will judge the eggnog you bring…).

If you were a slave to anxiety-breathing open loops, you’d try to plan it all in your mind and constantly be stressed. Leading up to the event you might struggle to get work done well and your relationships will most likely suffer.

But, since you know how to shut down open loops as they arise, you now mark your Calendar with the date. You jot down Notes of creative ideas and people and food and festivities and let all of your ideas begin to have life outside of your mind. Then, you start adding some Reminders of the tasks that you want to get done and when you need to pick up the food and when to decorate the tree and talking with Janet about her not bringing the fruit cake again.

(You obviously don’t have to use Apple’s apps to get this done. You can even use a trusty pencil and paper if you like).

Breaking down complex tasks in this way allows you to transition from mental energy constantly playing the loop over and over to physical energy of actually getting things done.

Once we break apart a big idea into smaller parts, we can see how they fit together and the power they have to bring our big idea to life.

Now, let’s complete the smaller pieces that bring the big idea to life.

Since we have a clear direction of where we’re going, and we know what tasks need to be done and when they need to be done, we can focus entirely on one little task at a time without worrying about the whole project coming together.

To complete these smaller tasks, I use something called the Pomodoro Technique.

The Pomodoro Technique is simply a researched way to section off your time. It goes like this:

THE POMODORO TECHNIQUE

  • Spend 25 minutes with complete focus on one and and only one task.
  • Afterward, take a 5 minute break from that focused concentration

Each time you repeat the 2 steps above, it's called a Pomodoro (it’s actually Italian for tomato, but that’s ok).

Complete 4 Pomodoros in a row and then take a longer break. Maybe 30 minutes to an hour.

The brilliance of this simple technique is it gives structure and guardrails to your focused time.

Now, you can take each task and estimate how many Pomodoros it will take to complete and plan your tasks in incremental focus sessions.

Pomodoro app for closing open loops

SILO - Focus and Study Timer to Boost Productivity

I’m using this technique right now to write this article. It helps me focus on the task at hand that I need to do and stay entirely present without worrying that I’ll overrun my time and overlook other tasks (I use the SILO app shown in the picture above).

Right now, I’m halfway through my second Pomodoro with this article and I estimate it will take two more to proofread and post.

Let’s Wrap It Up

Open loops present themselves all throughout the day. They can be massive and overwhelming, or they can be small and seemingly irrelevant.

But, we have to manage even the smallest of open loops to stay productive and relaxed.

So, next time an open loop presents itself, tackle it. Write it down and flesh it out so you can either manage it right as it comes up or at a later date when you have more time.

Closing all the loops that continually open themselves will allow you to maintain a steady level of focus and clarity while shutting out the anxiety of deadlines.

Kyle Seagraves

Author of Uncover Your Purpose

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The Easiest, Guilt-Free Way To Say No

Learning to say no will allow you to have a rich, powerful, and focused direction that doesn’t sway with guilt. While constantly saying yes will only cause:

  • guilt that subtracts from your purpose
  • wasted energy that robs you of rest, innovation, and joy

Saying "no" is one of the most difficult things to do. No one enjoys saying no to friends.

And saying no to family can be heartbreaking.

It can be difficult to turn down things that don’t energize you (even after practicing the “art of saying no”). 

From helping a friend move to turning down an undesired job, we’re going to reclaim the "art of saying no" and how to do it without feeling guilty or rude.

Let's transform a guilt-filled "no" into a focused and value-saturated "yes".

Floods and Rivers

Each day we’re presented with new opportunities, and our response to them defines who we will become. We’re a direct result of the decisions we make. And, our daily yeses and noes shape the larger decisions we make.

Tim Elmore writes about the differences between floods and rivers and how our daily energy can be categorized into either a flood or a river:

Floods are powerful forces of destruction that cause mass devastation wherever they go. They have no direction and cover hundreds if not thousands of square miles.

Rivers are focused, move in one direction, and have clear boundaries. Civilizations have been built around rivers since the beginning of humanity. And their focused energy is used to support and bring life.

You: In your everyday life, do you feel like your energy is directionless like a flood? Or is your energy defined with clear boundaries that helps you and others travel further?

Our ability to be a river or a flood is directly tied to our ability to say "yes" and "no". So many of us live our lives like a flood: we keep saying "yes" to things that don’t align with who we are. In the end, this causes us to damage ourselves and the people we encounter.

The first step to becoming focused and having clarity is to understand what our "yes" is...

Why You Keep Saying Yes

We all do it. We know that our energy will be drained if we say "yes" to something we shouldn’t do, but what if people begin to lose trust in us? Or maybe they won’t rely on us anymore or view us as less helpful.

Even deeper, this speaks to our struggle as a society to please the people we love. Because saying no makes us seem useless, selfish and unhelpful.

We keep saying "yes" to the things we don’t want to do because we don’t have a defined picture of what we value.

If we clearly understand what we deeply value, then saying "no" is easier. It allows us to recognize how directionless energy robs us of rest, innovation, and joy.

4 Easy Steps To Start Saying No

So, saying "no" shapes the person we will become. And understanding our values embolden our vision and allows new opportunities to arise.

Here are the 4 easy steps to start saying "no". These will help you have a rich, powerful, and focused direction that doesn’t sway to guilt.

  1. Understand Your Yeses (and your noes will be a breeze)
  2. Don’t Become Dualistic (so you can still be helpful when you say no)
  3. Politely Say No And Foster Communication (so you can deliver empathy and value)
  4. Reaffirm Your Direction (and the new opportunities you have)

Step 1: Understand Your Yeses

We need to understand what we value and are saying "yes" to so we know what to say "no" to.

Everyday, small yeses shape who we are and the future we want to create for ourselves. But we will always live like a flood unless we choose to clarify our direction and intent.

In our life purpose course, we teach life purpose with two overlapping circles. The left circle is everything thing that you are. The right circle is everything good that’s happening in the world.

A drawing of two circles that overlap to show life purpose and how to say no

Your life purpose is simply the intersection between who you are and what god/love/the divine is doing in the world.

And the white space outside of that intersection is what you're allowed to say no to.

So often we feel guilty because we see so much good happening in the world and we feel like we have to be involved and wonder why we experience so much grief and burnout.

The truth is that there are things that god is doing in the world that you simply don’t have any business being a part of.

Spending energy on a space that you’re not supposed to be in will only cause damage to yourself and others.

Quick Story Time:​​​​

I had to learn this lesson the hard way… I started to play guitar and sing when I was about 15. I practice the Christian faith tradition, so using what I was good at inside of a church setting seemed like the next logical step.

After all, (as the logic seemed) I was given this skillset, and I should use this to honor God.

But, after years of being involved in various churches I started to experience burnout that continually crippled my faith. The problem was, I believed that because I had a skill meant I had to use it for a cause.

In reality, music (or anything you love to do) is just an avenue for expression. In my current stage of life, it’s an avenue for refreshment and relaxation. And taking a restful avenue and forcing it to be utilized only became dangerous for myself and the people I worked with.

Ultimately, there are good things happening in the world that you have no business touching. And that’s ok. You’re allowed to find the unique space that you fill while supporting others.

When you understand what you value and how you fit in to what’s happening in the world, then saying no to things outside of your purpose becomes easy.

And more than that, it becomes empowering because your ability to say no allows you to say yes to the things that energize you.

Step 2: Don’t Become Dualistic

People pleasing is a problem for so many of us. And it’s largely rooted in insecurity. But, people pleasing can have a truly admirable intention behind it.

Beneath people pleasing is the basic desire that we all have to be of service to others and to constantly be giving value. Nothing is more satisfying than being able to be of service to someone else when they need it, but we don’t have to give up what we value to serve someone else…

Just because you say no doesn’t mean you can’t still be incredibly helpful to someone.

The main thing you want to guard is your energy and time. Try searching for different opportunities to help the person asking you. You could send them a link to a helpful blog, send them some quick tips, or introduce them to someone who can help (Or other useful ideas here).

Next time you need to say no, don’t immediately dismiss yourself as useless or selfish. You have so many opportunities to be of service to someone else without sacrificing your time and energy.

Step 3: Politely Say No And Foster Communication

Now that you know what you value and understand how you can be of service to someone, it’s time to say the dreaded word.

Although, saying no doesn’t have to seem harsh... You might want to just say “no” depending on the circumstance, but often, it’s helpful to search for a polite alternative that's still clear.

For example, “maybe later” does not show clear intent. But, “I appreciate you coming to me for help, I can’t give any time, but can I give you a couple quick ideas on how to finish the project?” is clear, polite, and offers immediate help.

Here are 49 ways to say "no" to give you an idea of what you could say.You’ll have to be the judge of the context and of the tone you should use. Continually keep in mind that saying "yes" to something that drains your energy will cause you to say "no" to what your purpose is.

Don’t feel like you have to have a polished and formal answer. Express your disinterest in a polite way. Then, allow your response to foster empathetic and respectful communication.

Being empathetic and calm while still serving people will help them understand your reason for saying "no" much more.

In the long run, saying "no" to something that makes you feel like a flood will be more helpful than saying "yes". Otherwise, you'll cause frustration for yourself and others.

Next time you want to say no, search for a polite way to express your disinterest. Use your response to create a helpful and affirming conversation.

Step 4: Reaffirm Your Direction

Even after taking the steps above, guilt can still linger. And sometimes the person asking might be offended, even if you were polite and helpful.

And that’s ok. Other people’s response to events is not your responsibility. You are only responsible for your reaction.

Since guilt can still linger, take a couple moments to reaffirm why you said "no". Reflect on the opportunity cost that saying "yes" would have had. Would saying "yes" take away time from your family? Or would saying "yes" exhaust you financially?

Allow each instance of a "no" to allow you to reflect on everything you continually say "yes" to every day. Those yeses shape the person you’re becoming.

The 4 Easy Steps All Together

Step 1: Understand Your Yeses

We need a framework to judge our decisions against. Finding what we value eliminates the need to please people. This helps us become powerful and focused like a river.

Step 2: Don’t Become Dualistic

Don’t equate “no” with “I am useless”. Creatively search for ways you can be of service to someone even when you can’t spend your energy or resources

Step 3: Politely Say No And Foster Communication

Don’t craft a polished and formal statement. Simply express your disinterest. Then, allow your reply to foster open and vulnerable conversation

Step 4: Reaffirm Your Direction

Allow each instance of saying no to challenge you. And reflect on everything you say yes to that continually shapes who you are becoming

Just learning to say "no" is a hollow way to look at your response to questions. Rather, focus on what you continually say "yes" to so your noes become guilt-free. And, reply with noes that are still helpful and caring.

Living life like a directionless flood will only rob you of rest, innovation, and joy. But, living with a clear direction that doesn’t sway to guilt will allow you and others to flourish.

Kyle Seagraves

Author of Uncover Your Purpose

Contact

You Won’t Think About Personality Tests The Same Way Again

We’re all obsessed with personality tests. Below is my favorite Myers-Briggs adaptation… go on, find your cinnamon roll status:

We love the idea that we can fit snuggly inside a type. It’s comfortable.

And life threatening…

My room is better than your room

Personality tests have been the cultural rave in the past few years (and for good reason).

But, something keeps disturbing me about the way people are using personality types. We’ve been groomed inside a culture lacking identity so much we seek a “type” to find solace.

We look at personality like a warehouse lined with rooms that reflect different personality characteristics.

Inside each room are all the different “types” of people. We keep passing by all the “types” until we find the room.

The room with our people. The people you don’t have to explain yourself to. They get you.

You don’t have to explain your faults or quirks… you surely don’t have to explain that weird thing you do with your hands when you get nervous.

The room that is the perfect place for where you’re at right now. Because it’s filled with different versions of you. (or so you think…)

We choose the room that fits us best depending on what we’re feeling that day. And we live the rest of life in that room.

The problem here is that typing ourselves and others is deadly to our potential as a culture because:

Identity is not about who you are. It’s about who you can become.

I was right there with you

Ok, I should be honest. I was right there with you. Sitting in that room.

I’d learn a new personality typing system in and out and own it. I could take an educated guess at your numbers, or letters, or animal (yeah… that’s a real typing test. Better hope you’re not a walrus on that test) based on your Starbucks order.

Even the fact that you went to Starbucks pretty much narrowed down the personality types you could be (because single-origin, black coffee is the only true coffee, right?).

I took a system made by a couple mystics and teachers and psychologists and placed a canvas over everyone.

And told them who they are.

Re-read that. Because you might do the same.

Are you a builder?

The broader, more-enveloping question here isn’t even “am I placing myself in a room” but “how am I limiting the potential of everyone I meet by placing 4 neat, eggshell-white walls around them.”

I was a master builder. Seeing people and defining them. Building perfectly aligned walls around others to contain the very essence of being I overlooked.

Do you do the same?

Who do you see?

Let’s throw away personality tests for a second… when you walk down the street, who do you see?

Do you see goths and thugs and business people and feminists and parents and homosexuals and ___________ (fill in the blank, there’ll be a quiz at the end).

These walls are comfortable because they place a nice piece of brick between our sensitive, self-consuming egos and the potential outside dangers.

Although, those walls do more harm than good…

When you throw a wall up around someone else you prevent:

  • creative collaboration
  • gained insight
  • expanding knowledge
  • defined experience
  • deepening of soul
  • strengthening of heart
  • development of courage
  • __________________

Escaping the cycle

Know that right now you have the unlimited freedom to shatter the walls you’ve built around people.

Take a moment to recognize the ego inside of you that’s seeking to constantly build itself up and categorize everyone else to hide its faults.

Because your relationship didn’t fail because your partner was an ISFP.

And you’re not friends with someone because you’re both type 9s.

You and everyone you meet is expansive and buoyant and far more complex than our egos can project into our conscious minds.

How I stopped placing people in rooms

I know what it’s like to search for years for an identity I can be a part of.

And try to find which type I fit in… to find my people and where I belong and find meaning.

And then I found I couldn’t really fit in anywhere so I started placing everyone else in types and boxes and rooms. And I limited them.

I know the struggle of feeling like I can become more than what someone else wrote down in a dusty book or typed in an online article.

I know how damaging it can feel to your potential when all you get is a number or a collection of letters that are supposed to define you.

In our search for who we are and where we belong and who our people are, we can discover two things:

  • the depths of our humanity cannot be limited to a type
  • rooms starve the life-giving power of community

For yourself

You aren’t one type. Open the door and walk out of the room. Personality types are simply just a map.

A map that guides you on your journey to become a myriad of potential.

A map that gently corrects and consoles you as you travel.

Types aren’t who you are. Shrink them down to their real size and then use them as tools to get where you’re going.

For others

Try to find the walls you’ve placed around your friends and family.

And recognize the walls you continue to place around the people you see.

We think we’re protecting ourselves, but we’re really limiting everything we can become.

Our experiences with others are the only true things that shape us into the people we want to become.

Now

Identity isn’t something you’re going to find in a system.

Your identity is the perpetual process of who you’re becoming.

“For success, like happiness [and identity], cannot be pursued; it must ensure, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself” — Victor Frankl

Victor Frankl had this realization when imprisoned in a concentration camp. Where everyone was forcefully stripped of the walls they came in with and left with bare humanity.

He discovered that our search for success, happiness, fulfillment, and meaning aren’t things that we can achieve. They’re simply things that happen as a result of our pursuit of something greater than ourselves.

The pursuit of becoming connected with the bigger picture of what god (love, the divine, collective unconscious, etc.) is doing in the world.

So, today, remove the walls you’ve placed around people and the walls you’ve confined yourself in.

Begin the search for what the divine is doing in the world and how you connect to it.

And simply use personality types as tools to get you there. Don’t give them more credit than they deserve because…

Identity is not about who you are. It’s about who you can become.

How To Be An Introvert AND An Extrovert (Without Giving Up Who You Are)

You’ve believed for a while that you’re either an introvert or an extrovert. Though, it doesn’t work that way. You’re an evolving mixture of both. And introversion and extroversion are tools we use to live lives of richness and depth.

I’ll guide you through a discovery that has shaped the way I view life and energy. And if you learn this discovery, too, you’ll grow into a more connected and healthy person.

We all desire to be more engaged. We want to connect with the world around us, yet we struggle to find depth in the mundane. Here’s how many think…

You either read books or you don’t. You either like people or you don’t. You’re either an introvert or you’re not. You’re either an extrovert or you’re not. You either finished reading this paragraph or you didn’t.

Black and white thinking is wrong here. You’re an expressible and extraordinary mixture of both introversion and extroversion. Your flexibility to seek both reserve and expression is a monumental part of who you are. And you’re limiting yourself.

When you classify yourself as one or the other, you limit an entire segment of your being.

We miss out on the vibrant life you have to offer when you limit yourselfto one of two states.

let’s get a little scientific

Introversion and extroversion are pieces in a larger game of temperament. They’re tools at your disposal to relate with the world in a more connected way.

Two components make up youTemperament and Personality.

  • Temperament: the nature side of the debate. You’ve been created with a set wiring of pre-determined synapses handed down to you from your parents. And these developed in the womb. You’re a miraculous creature.
  • Personality: the nurture side of the debate. In your childhood, key influencers and events shaped the way you thought and felt about life. Life shaped your vision.

We’re only going to stick to temperament for now. Personality is a beast on its own.

When you were born, your brain had a way of thinking that was unique to you. Untouched by the world and its array of sensory distractions and influencing factors. You were born of entirely-untarnished temperament: complete nature. Nurture hadn’t influenced you yet.

This is where psychologist Jerome Kagan decided to step in. He set up an experiment to put the temperament of humans to the test.

He introduced infants to various stimuli and tracked their responses. He would give a swab of lemon to children and track their reaction. Or, he’d pop a balloon next to a child and note the response. And so on.

As you might expect, some babies cried… and some didn’t. Unfamiliar stimuli startled some children while doing nothing to other children. Some reacted and some didn’t.

Kagan discovered something incredible. Human temperament has two defaults: high reactivity and low reactivity. Or children who cried and children who didn’t (when exposed to shocking events).

it gets deeper

I promise this depth will get us to a place where you can become a more complete and healthy self.

Your brain has a component called the Reticular Activating System (we’ll call it the RAS for short). Its job is to control consciousness. Or brain arousal.

Think of the RAS like a filter. It looks at what’s happening in the world around you and chooses to let some information in. And it lets some information float by. It controls your brain activity.

Your brain loves to be at a set point of brain activity. Like how your heart has a set point of beats per minute. Or how you have a set point of body temperature. Your brain likes its set point.

And you brain will do all that it can do always be at a set point of brain arousal. Too much brain arousal and you’ll be anxious, frustrated, and unfocused. Too little brain arousal and you’ll be sluggish, exhausted, and irritable.

It’s best if you’re at a comfortable set point of brain arousal. And your brain is going to get there one way or the other.

reactivity and set point

Kagan followed his patients throughout their lives. He found that high reactivity people tended to be predominantly introverted. And low reactivity people tended to be predominantly extroverted.

He found that:

  • High reactivity people (introverts) have a higher set point of brain arousal.
  • Low reactivity people (extroverts) have a lower set point of brain arousal.

So, high reactivity people become overloaded by external stimuli. It makes their set point go too high. It makes babies cry. It makes people seem introverted.

Low reactivity people are off balance without external stimuli. Their set point is lower. They don’t cry at external stimuli because it doesn’t overwhelm them. It makes people seem extroverted.

let’s tie it together

You either have a brain of high reactivity or low reactivity. It’s your temperament.

High reactivity makes you have a high set point and low reactivity makes you have a low set point.

And your brain uses the RAS to always be at an optimal set point.

If you’re a high reactivity person, you’re born with a higher set point. If you’re a low reactivity person, you’re born with a lower set point.

Your brain will always do what it can to be at its set point. Being at the set point makes you happier and more productive. You thrive at your set point.

introverts

People who believe they’re introverted are really just high reactivity people. When you were a child, external stimuli startled you. Your brain was full of life and had a higher set point of arousal.

You process a lot internally because your brain is always working. You need quiet space to work and be productive.

Your set point is high and you need a tool to get it to be normal. The tool you’ve chosen for most of your life is introversion.

Introversion helps you take a high set point and bring it down to a normal level: where you become the most vibrant version of yourself.

The reason people call you an introvert is because you have to use the tool of introversion frequently to calm your high set point.

Sometimes your set point dips down too far, though. You use another tool to bring it back up: extroversion.

extroverts

People who believe they’re extroverted are really just low reactivity people. When you were a child, external stimuli didn’t startle you. Your brain was curious about the world around and you have a lower set point of arousal.

You process the world externally: through experiences and people. You need a more interactive and busy space to work and be productive.

Your set point is low and your need a tool to get it to be normal. The tool you’ve chosen for most of your life is extroversion.

Extroversion helps you take a low set point and bring it up to a normal level: where you become the most vibrant version of yourself.

The reason people call you an extrovert is because you have to use the tool of extroversion frequently to liven your low set point.

Sometimes your set point increases too much, though. You use another tool to bring it back down: introversion.

back to black and white

So, here’s the real black and white of it all: you either have a high reactivity or low reactivity temperament.

Reactivity becomes a bias for how dominant introversion and extroversion will be in your life. But it doesn’t define you.

You were born with a temperament that will never change, but you can use tools to guide it to where you want to be.

I’m a high reactivity person. When someone asks me to a party, I have an inner surge of adrenaline that shouts for me to deny. When I get asked to speak in front of a group, quick thoughts rush through my mind of the excuses I can use to escape.

When I’ve been around too many people I use introversion as a tool to gather resources and regain energy. When I’ve regained energy, I use extroversion as a tool to communicate and interact with others.

stretch and break

You’ve been given a temperament. Now use personality to shape it. You’re a high or low reactivity person and you can now begin to approach life that way. If a wave of anxiety overcomes you, recognize that you’ve been given tools to center yourself. If you’re exhausted, find the tools available to you so we can have the richness of you back.

The beauty of human personality is the ability to stretch and break the barriers set. Your personality is either evolving into integration or destruction. And you have the power to change it daily.

yourself

Keep in mind that brain arousal does not equal intelligence. It’s how much of the world you process internally.

So, are you a high reactivity person or a low reactivity person?

Where in your life have you seen yourself at a set point that is too high or too low and how did you naturally live to get it back to a healthy place? Did you use introversion or extroversion?

The words introversion and extroversion carry unneeded weight. And this discovery allows you to live without that weight.

You’re a magnetic and dynamic individual. Life has given you temperament, and you responded with personality. You control the way you’re going to live. You use the tools available to you to become the most healthy self.

And it is the world’s pleasure to see you at your best. When you’re aware of who you are and how you’re created and the limitations you have. And the life your bring to people around you.

your next step

I want to know more about you.

Click HERE and tell me if you’re a high or low reactivity person in the comments. Tell me a story about when you used introversion and extroversion to meet your internal and physiological needs.