While working with my therapist through why I struggle with vulnerability, he mentioned this phrase that stuck with me:

How I see you see me.

And I didn't realize the exact depth of it until he said it throughout our conversation.

I take my view of myself (my idea of worth and value and shame and guilt) and project that onto others in the assumption that that's how they feel towards me.

It's how I see you see me.

We do this so often. We project our desires and pain onto others and assume they're the reason we can't grow.

We project our desires and pain onto others and assume they're the reason we can't grow.

We distort the truth through our lens of how our interior self works.

The struggle is that the projection of ourselves we cast onto others creates our own prison. Completely solitary and guided by our deepest fears.

For example, I largely fear vulnerability because I feel like my worth is at stake. I don't cherish the inherent worth I have in myself. So, I assume others don't cherish it in me as well. I project my unworthiness onto others and close myself off out of fear of being judged.

I'm so glad to have realized this now. Because this process is cyclical. And the more I become aware, I realize so many others are trapped in this as well.

But, the journey ahead is bright and glowing and messy.

Constant growth is as rewarding as it is sloppy.

Do You Notice The Same Pattern In Your Own Life?

Maybe you notice a continual joke you say about someone else that's beginning to highlight fear and insecurity in your life.

Or maybe it's as simple as one thing that annoys you in a person you know… could that highlight something deeper you're facing?

The step towards growth is the recognition that everything in life is about constant exposure and renewal.

Continual openness and exploration of ourselves leads us into deeper meaning and fulfillment.

And until we understand the projections we cast onto others based out of our desires and pain, we will continually be trapped in a world of how I see you see me.

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Published by Kyle Seagraves

I exist to help people explore their identity and connect their unique story to culture. I’m an avid learner and am endlessly curious about the world around me (YouTube has taught me everything I know). When I’m not lost in a book, I’m usually brewing naturally-processed black coffee and picking up strange and unusual flavor notes. [email protected]

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